So, in the end of May I was told I had anxiety......
I wasn't feeling well and I had asked my Hubby to take me to the ER. On our way there I noticed my hands getting numb, lips and feet went numb to. I freaked out Hubby freaked out. We ran red lights, sure I was having a stroke or something. I run into the ER and since my lips were numb my words came out kinda funny. They took me into the back and asked my history, etc. One lady gave me a bag to breathe into and said I was hyper-ventilating...... Yea right I thought, I'm having a friggin stroke! But, it worked. The feeling came back to my extremities and I was feeling a lot better.
The DR. asked if I ever had anxiety attacks. I said no. Have you ever felt uneasy in a place for no reason he asked. Of course I said. Turns out what I've been feeling since God knows when was small anxiety attacks. Hmmm interesting. He gave me some meds and sent me on my way. After many tests showed I was fine.
Now it seems darn near everyday since I have attacks. For no reason. I can be sitting at home comfy and watching TV and boom! I have to get up, walk around the property, deep breathe and try to calm myself. If Hubby's there, I lie on his chest and breathe with him. He holds me and massage my shoulders. Sometimes it works sometimes I just need a pill. Problem with the pills are they knock me out! I've downgraded myself to half a mg. Because I can't be passing out every time I take my "chill" pill. That's the perfect amount for me. Unless it's full blown, hyper ventilating and then its 1mg.
Funny thing is, when I'm having an attack I swear I'm gonna die. I think OMG this is a heart attack and no ones catching it.. Something isn't right... I've even called an ambulance a couple of times. They all say the same thing as the ER dr. and my dr. I'm fine... It's a panic attack. SO I felt dumb for calling.
I feel like I'm going crazy. I hate feeling like this. I wish I could just "get over it". They also put me on anti- depression meds. Which I never thought I was depressed. I always thought of me as an uppy type. Goofy and happy. Now that I started taking those fuckers if I miss a dose I cry for no reason???? Totally not me. So, I'm getting off those. It's the attacks that are making me depressed I think. Who wants to be panicking all the time. I can't even go down the street without taking my pill bottle with me, some water and a paper bag "just in case".
It really interrupts your life. I was having a blast at the bowling alley with the family and outta nowhere I get one right in front of everyone. Church, the most calming place of all, got one there.
I went my whole life just fine, then outta nowhere I get this. It's confusing...
I'm learning as I go, finding whatever I can on this. So far, it's just telling myself "everythings ok. this too will pass."